tesla school

first week back. this is not the first, last, or second night of willful solitude, ice cream, and wine. here is my list of school supplies for Basic Analog Circuits:

5 - White breadboard.  IB401 Microtivity from Amazon $8.66 * 5

(Breadboard jumper wire  (Included in above))

1- Needle nose plier  Texton 3504 Amazon $3.89

1- Wire stripper  Klein 11045 Amazon $14.99

1- Flush wire cutter Xuron 170-II Micro shear flush cutter Amazon $7.16

1- Multimeter  Brainytrade LCD Amazon $10.98

1- Soldering iron - American Science and Surplus from Amazon $19.96

1- Solder 63/37  Delcast 63/37 0.31” diameter 3.5oz spool Amazon $4.20

1- Phillips and slot screwdriver

1- 1/4” hex socket wrench

be dope

i would like to vote American by lana del rey to be the most moving song of 2013. i heard it in a bar in carroll gardens last week and i almost burst into tears.

jar of youth fountain

winter slip n' slide

going home i was thinking a thousand thoughts today, but none were about the ground when i slipped on a patch of ice in front of the gangster motorcycle shop next to my apartment. i flew up in the air and landed on the bony part of my left upperbum. one of the motorcycle men pointed at me through the shop window and laughed and another motorcycle man rushed outside to see if i was okay. i'm okay.

it's currently 29 degrees out, much warmer than the 14 we've had all week. my mom used to tell me about one of her customers, an old italian lady who stays at home every day and watches the news and cries about the state of the world. i am convinced that i am becoming more and more old italian lady every day.

asking for roses

A house that lacks, seemingly, mistress and master,
With doors that none but the wind ever closes,
Its floor all littered with glass and with plaster;
It stands in a garden of old-fashioned roses.

I pass by that way in the gloaming with Mary;
'I wonder,' I say, 'who the owner of those is.'
'Oh, no one you know,' she answers me airy,
'But one we must ask if we want any roses.'

So we must join hands in the dew coming coldly
There in the hush of the wood that reposes,
And turn and go up to the open door boldly,
And knock to the echoes as beggars for roses.

'Pray, are you within there, Mistress Who-were-you?'
'Tis Mary that speaks and our errand discloses.
'Pray, are you within there? Bestir you, bestir you!
'Tis summer again; there's two come for roses.

'A word with you, that of the singer recalling--
Old Herrick: a saying that every maid knows is
A flower unplucked is but left to the falling,
And nothing is gained by not gathering roses.'

We do not loosen our hands' intertwining
(Not caring so very much what she supposes),
There when she comes on us mistily shining
And grants us by silence the boon of her roses.

Robert Frost

balloon festival

Click below to remember 10/11 vacation yore

me rat

really sad day

cat power interview

Unfortunately, it breaks my heart that I can't keep my word. I am human and I make mistakes. And after a show, I know that the four girls who drove all the way from fuckin' 700 miles away and are crying on stage are like, "Please, we just want to meet you." But what they don't understand is that I haven't slept in four days, and I haven't eaten and I've beeen trying to do this and I've been trying to do that. And it's hard to walk away from those four girls, and ignore them or to just smile at them, like, "Oof, let me just do this and let it be enough." And it's not. So I make mistakes all the time and I know that I'm making them --

You really feel guilty about that?

Are you crazy?

It would be nice if they could meet you, but they got to see a show. [Meeting them is] not an obligation of yours.

That's what my friends say. My friends always say, "Chan, you gave them a show." But you know how in life you have, like, Frida Kahlo paintings? And imagine, like, with a time machine -- "Here's a time machine, $100,000." So you save up your money, save up your money, and you buy a ticket for the time machine. "Where do you want to go?" I want to go to 1938. I want to go to Mexico City. I want to go to Frida Kahlo's house. And there you are in front of Frida Kahlo's house and you're waiting and you're waiting and you're waiting, and you only have like three hours, and then you finally get your chance. There she is! She comes out to get her mail. There she is: Frida! And she just looks at you and bunches her eyebrows together and she slams the door and you hear the door lock.

at least there's sunshine here. i expected everything about the weather here to be total apocalypse.

slacker

i feel guilty about sleeping in until 12:30p even though it's only 9:30a in my headspace time zone.

freezeface

Here I am, back in Brooklyn, after a long and from-far-away journey. I thought I would feel ready to leave LA after spending a month there, but I was not. It is far too cold here. 20 degrees. Too cold to do my laundry or buy food. 

reality

This is definitely my favorite picture of Courtney Stodden yet. From her upcoming music video, "Reality"

Explaining the concept, Courtney has said: ‘There's this nerd, he's a "hot nerd," and I get captivated by him.'

keepies pt 2

This week I spent a wonderful Tuesday out in Los Angeles.

Candy and I had sushi, gelato, and coffee in Silver Lake, in that order.

 Afterwards, I went to visit Katya in her new loft in downtown. It's so so gorgeous and enormous - I'm in love with it, totally happy for her, and totally fucking jealous at the same time. It's loft-y without having any of the decrepitude of the lofts that I surveyed in New York. The kitchen is really nice and new and the floors are beautiful. Ugh. 

 I needed a girls' night so we went out for a romantic dinner in a completely empty pizza place in Little Tokyo and then had some ridiculous drinks at Villains in downtown, on the shore of the LA River. Katya had some sort of whiskey drink that was blocked by an enormous iceball topped with jam. I had a Moscow Mule that was so spicy it made my nose sting. 

Today I felt so terrible from emotional distress that I stress ate all afternoon. For lunch I had Korean japchae and Taiwanese sesame chicken soup. After lunch I sat outside and had barbecued ribs, a cheddar biscuit, and broccoli and cauliflower with red wine as I read The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo (it's finally picking up). Then I went inside and had a slice of deep-dish pizza. Then I felt mildly ill. 

I wasn't sure I was going to survive my dinner date with a friend after all that. We were supposed to get burgers in Long Beach. We met seven (!) years ago when we were both eighteen-year-olds working at Buzz in Disneyland. We have the exact same birthday, so we traditionally reach out to each other around this time of year. He's one of those old friends you don't talk to extremely often, and you always question whether there is anything left to say. However, it ended up being a really fun night where we talked non-stop for hours. In recent years he's lost a lot of his old restlessness/discontentment and has somehow become really zen, lost interest in most material things, and seems to now embody religious detachment. The evening was refreshing for Material Girl (me), and I drove home rethinking my interests (tv) and my distractions (building my internet social capital). Closing thoughts: I feel thankful for and affirmed by my friends, and look forward to keeping them in my life over the years and seeing how they grow and change for the better. 

I'm leaving in a little less than four days and I think I'll feel ready. Thank you LA for this last present:

pet peeve

traditionally, "how are you?" is a question that makes me angry. it's lame and lazy and deserves an equally lame and lazy response. "good."

chinese newspaper nails

I newspapered my nails about a week ago. Here they are, looking sort of messy after they had just been painted. I think the effect was really nice but certainly lost some of the appeal because the whole newspapering thing is so yesterday on the internet.

squirrel dad

aijia sent this to me today and i loved it. i've always wanted to see a red squirrel in real life and i was disappointed to discover that there aren't any in new york.

disneyland unicorn mask

Post-Disneyland message from the post-birthday girl

keepies

Now that the Christmas and New Year's holidays are over, I've been trying to catch up with all of my home friends. I'm happy that I've kept the best people I could find from every experience I've had.

1/4 : Downtown Disney with my best friends from high school, Lc, Lmo, Kat. We had dinner at Rainforest Cafe because I insisted on it, and the food was terrible. We had drinks at Trader Sam's and Lmo had a gigantic spear of rosemary in her Mele kaliki-mocha.

 1/5: Breakfast pancakes with Rhi, the only lifeguard that I still keep in touch with. We went on a road trip to Solvang and Hearst Castle together a few years ago. These are her first chocolate chip pancakes ever and they look very epic. I had buttermilk pancakes and eggs benedict.

 1/5: Khenkel (circa college, freshman year) texted to say that he had a big surprise for me. I assumed he was going to tell me he had gotten engaged, so I brought over a bottle of Moscato. It turned out that the surprise was that he had gotten the guinea pig painting I made professionally framed and had put it up in his living room, and was not engaged. So we drank the bottle of Moscato ourselves and went dancing at Rasputin in WeHo (my first time there - finally).  

1/6: KBBQ with old housemates Miss Tomb, her man, and The Eternal Bachelor in K-town. LOTS of Hite and brisket were had. Miss Thum informs me that donating stem cells would be very painful.

1/8: Delicious Thai food in West LA with my favorite people, Evy and Lili, from my talent agency job. Apparently, working conditions there have not improved.

1/9: Sushi and shabu shabu with steph and cathy, my Expo friends and soon-to-be New Orleans trip friends, at Lotus, a strange sushi/shabu shabu/hookah place, near USC. The first of my birthday celebrations :) I had a Forrest Gump roll. Reason for the name undetermined. 

And lots and lots of time with my mama, of course.

ne'er do wells

Ne'er Do Wells by Audra Mae and The Almighty Sound has been my jam of late. I am very excited to discover today that she is the great-great-niece of Judy Garland.

pictures of winter break

tripped on some shoes and fell

thought i'd break into the new box of see's candy only to discover that my mom had gotten there first

suggested stylings from the cerritos mall

i am nap seatbelt

delicious lunch mojito with mama in brea

and clams and flautas

new facebook friend

ma made me make her a facebook and i've been reaping the hilarity ever since. yesterday she went on a photo commenting rampage.

fine collection of curious objects

Gal showed this to me at school ages ago but I still love it.

Fine Collection of Curious Objects

lepidoptery

Today's photo comes from Mrs. Tuckersman, who submitted it to me via Gchat. It is of Nabokov hunting butterflies with a large net and outstanding outfit. After some discussion about lepidoptery and seeing some mounted butterflies for sale on West Elm, I felt curious about doing some killing and mounting of my own. Until I read the internet and decided that the process is way sad and gross, that is. Fly on, butterflies.

Speaking of, just today Ma was talking about how her best friend nicknamed her husband Butterfly, because he loves to prance around and show off. 

first blood draw of 2013

Bone marrow screening blood draw completed before 8:30 am this morning. It was a lot less painful than when I donated blood in August through the Red Cross - the woman who took my blood this morning said that the Red Cross uses a much larger needle. Today they took six tubes' worth to run a gamut of tests and there may be more blood draws in the future as the prospective donors are narrowed down.

what if

what if you lived here instead?