move out day two

the corpse of this apartment terrifies me

most hated activity

moving has replaced going to the dentist as my least favorite activity. when i was cleaning out the kitchen, i felt like someone had died. when i was trekking back and forth loading things into my car, i felt like a ghost. i have an intense crying headache and some severe form of angina. of all former 102 residents and guests, i am the last in the chalfonte.

sounds

there are always strange sounds in the chalfonte. there is always the sound of rushing water gushing in torrents through invisible pipes. my subletter embick was the first to notice that the refrigerator sings, letting out subtle electronic pings of two high pitches at regular intervals. and at least once a year a great tornado imperceptibly picks up the chalfonte and lands it in new york. i hear film production men hollering at each other and clapping for one another and causing a general annoying racket and outside my window and all the cars have become new york taxis and police cars and firetrucks spinning their red lights through the night through my blinds. and into my disco

wanksta

a bunch of people, including a director, producer, location scouts, and miscellaneous crew, surprise stampeded through my apartment today and walked through all the rooms and looked at the stuff we put up on the walls and remarked that we have a nice pad and took lots of pictures for our potential fifteen minutes of location fame for some nbc procedural. i hope we get picked! my room could not be more of a mess right now and i think they took lots of pictures of my bras and makeup and trash and stray lemon all over the place.

the wtf mise-en-scène:

my vanity, aka where the stairs meet the floor

katya's corner with tampon moat

spray paints, curler, charger, lemon, crumpled newspapers from madrid

desk entropy

my costume closet vomiting all over the place

french press in a shoebox. i don't have an explanation either.

chalfonte family

i could exercise anywhere, but only at the chalfonte can i collapse off of the elliptical after fifteen minutes and lie on the floor panting and sweating and have our building maintenance man luis stick his head into the gym and exclaim in his tenor voice, "Valeriee! Good job! Good job!"

impromptu visit

our old neighbor french, who moved out last may, came knocking on my window last night. we were afraid he was wandering the los angeles streets homeless, but he's been laying his head on the other side of la cienega with a celebrity friend. the creative genius serenaded us with his wild guitar playing and we gave him back his vacuum cleaner.

when the right or left dogtooth falls

chalfonte chic

vareniki vecher-inka

not surprisingly, russian dinner at the chalfonte ended with alcohol spilled across the kitchen table and all over the floor, kvas no one drank, a significant decrease in liquid mass from the svedka bottle, drunk crying, dirty dishes and vareniki in the sink, red velvet cupcake strewn across the living room, and a hangover. typical typical typical

catch a grenade hand on a blade

the lobby music is absolutely deafening

sluice

my walls sound like water

annual weather miracles

on: Every December I Move to New York

filming is now outside the chalfonte. lots of magic rain. it looks like it's new york again. this is cool, but not as good as last year, when i woke up in the morning and the entire street was lined with new york taxis and covered in snow.

чёрт поцеловал льва

i sat completely frigid outside today, cold fingers and toes, reading about participles until i felt incompetent. was rejected from a minimumwagejob tonight. have embarked on my second attempt to read the foundation pit. last night i couldn't sleep because i drank two cups of coffee before bed so i wandered the internet and discovered that a registered sex offender used to live in my very apartment. if these walls could talk

took my language proficiency test via landline on monday - accent was identified immediately as of-taiwanese-descent. rather proud of it

secrets

as much as i love this room, i am completely disoriented and creeped out by being here. my duvet is so heavy it's oppressive.

going to take a sentimental journey

last night in my boudoir for a long time. i wish i could get tattoos of all my erstwhile living spaces so i would never have to leave them behind.

18+hours of wakefulness, i am more tireder than this animal.

the moment of snoozing is upon us at last.

nice att du gillar frasse

we resigned our lease today. friends, we're here to stay. especially now that the kazakhs, uzbeks, and russians have moved in.

The Day in Pictures

.i'll keep that in mind

i have tonight and tomorrow to figure this shit out

ohmyoshkosh first boxed flowers of my life a real blomstringsfestival

go go gadget

holy moses, we've entered the 21st century

chalfonte year two

they raise the rent until they chase you out

hot hot heat

the chalfont-hey

1. perching

2. (social or anti-social) jigsaw

3. my new nose, scratched in (s)pain

нос-сон

It is never explained why the Nose fell off in the first place, why it could talk, nor why it found itself reattached.

(nos)tos

don't touch my fish

In every big biography there is a period of work as a waitress in a bar, or as a dockworker. This is a temporary stage in the development of a personality. Indeed, that period in my life dragged on.

just watched rusalka with y.tuckersman. liked it.

couldn't find YT this noon when i woke up. she wasn't in her bed or in the gym, but her cell phone and laptopwilbur were still in the apartment. i felt Left Behind