don't worry

this is what dads are for 

useless child

i think this is proof that i'm not a grown-up yet

growing pangs

this makes me want to give my parents big hugs

Chens take Orlando

I'm in my parents' hotel room at the all stars music resort. It's nice to be in a bed that is bigger than a matchbox and feel like it's filled with one million slinkies. It's nice to probably not be woken up by a roommate wandering around the room in the dead of morning, opening all the doors and drawers. Ma and pa and me had a delightful fancy Africanish dinner at the Animal Kingdom Lodge and tomorrow we're spending the day at the food and wine festival, which will be my parents' first trip back to Epcot in 24 years.

WWWD40D?

I'm such a light sleeper that it isn't exactly altruism, but I bought a can of WD40 at Target and lubricated every squeaky damned hinge in this apartment, from my roommate's walk-in-closet doors from hell to our shared bathroom's rolling door and even to our roommates' regular swinging bathroom door and no one seems to notice or voice appreciation (except for Sinay, bless her). It reminds me of all the little things my dad did silently and thanklessly around the house all our lives to make us comfortable, like changed the air filters and pulled long girl hair out of the drains, like the time that I was in the garage about to leave for my hourly job at Disneyland and he watched me expectantly as I put on my work shoes and voiced his sadness that I hadn't noticed that he'd shined them for me.

all-star parents

My parents surprised me by announcing that they are going to visit me in October. I'd asked them when I saw them in LA whether they would come and they said no. However, their way of visiting me appears to be by going on a 7-day cruise to the Caribbean and Bahamas and then staying one night in Orlando and then flying back to LA. Ha but I am excited to see them and show them the swamp.

I just booked them into this ridiculous-looking place:

oregone

pa's oregon pictures 2014

rose garden

mirror lake

it's very interesting

I e-mailed my parents the side-by-side comparison pictures from Honey, I Shrunk the Kids MSA 1990 v. 2014.

Lgb

I'm at the airport again. There's free WiFi here! It happens to be Chinese father's day and we are going on a family vacation to Portland. Ma just took a picture of me and told me I look like a pornstar. Pa grimaced and looked awkward.

graduation

first NY text from ma:

radio city music hall:

my new favorite picture of me and my pa:

ain'a that good news

This is happening. My FedEx package of consent forms arrived this morning.

 I broke the news to my parents over Skype tonight. Pa is as usual inexplicably sitting off-camera. Ma may look happy here, but both of them freaked out when I told them that I'll be donating blood stem cells soon. They were not very happy and I had to convince Ma not to fly out but I know that they know it's the right thing to do.

birthday weeks

birthday with bagel: osteria mamma and harvard and stone
birthday party in la: masa and prince with lmo, lc, kat, rj, katya, john, bagel, candy, khenkel, cathy, max, steph, willis
birthday with family: belmont brewing co. with ma, pa, cliff, rosie, char, bagel
birthday day: st. felix with khenkel, cody
birthday party in ny: mominette, pine box and tandem with cerrito, aijia, rothy, sslover, sam, jay, vanessa, mike, dan, cvc, moe, weaver, colin
birthday tsukerma: is today! sushi, ice skating and more with mrs. tuckersman

what if instead of 26-year-old me at my birthday parties 10-year-old me and 16-year-old me were present instead? 

im getting insoles

what happens when i don't respond to my dad's e-mails quickly enough. gotta love that dad

not dead yet

I've just experienced my last day in Los Angeles for the summer. This trip has been really grounding and good for my mental health - almost purely family time, quiet time, bagel time, and physical space as medicine for the daily trials. This last day, however, has been plagued by physical and mental torture. The morning began with my new apartment building backing out of giving us a place to stay for September 1st - four days prior to moving. The process of procuring and negotiating this apartment has been a real nightmare of being caught between liars versus liars for the past month, only to completely implode at the near-last second. I have affirmed in my mind that real estate is truly one of the most fucked up things about New York - may I never deal with it again.

After eating some insanity breakfast, it was comparatively soothing to go to the orthodontist, where my crumbling permanent retainer was yanked out of my mouth, the old glue painfully ground off, and a new retainer glued in. Afterwards, I donated some Missy's old lady diapers to the animal shelter (I bought them but she never wore them) even though I don't believe that any animal in the shelter lives long enough to need to wear them.

In the afternoon, my mom gave me a flu shot that hurt more than I'm used to and when she withdrew the needle I bled mightily down the arm, an actual stream flowing downwards and pooling in the crook of my elbow. My mom screamed, "Aaaaah!! aaaaaahh!! ARE YOU ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO BLEEDS TOO MUCH?!" and my dad was unhappy and ranted about how she didn't do it right and I couldn't stop laughing because it was so shocking and so fucked up. The way it spewed out was as if the head-bursting blood pressure from all my morning rage had finally found its exit. Later Ma came to me and said, "I'm very sorry. You probably won't die."

The evening became quieter. Ma, Pa and I went to Souplantation, where I ate all the favorite soups, salads, and carbs that I've been eating my entire life. On the drive home Ma was trying to come up with a Chinese name for baby Char. Every name she came up with we could turn into a joke by interpreting it as its homonym or changing the tone of one word slightly. You mean Bowl? Little Fish? Oh, Summer Shirt? Ma came up with a new one and tried to translate it for me. 

Ma: It means "prostate."

Me: PROSTATE?

Ma: Yes. Prostate. 

Me: Are you sure?

Ma: No..."prostitute"

Me: WHAT

Ma: No... ..."protest?"

Ma has traditionally rhymed my Chinese name with Fat Pig, but Pa came up with a new one for me today - Scarf.   

faraway sessions

Ma and Pa Skyped me tonight. 

Some background: I have a red-eared slider that likes to escape its pond.

Ma: "I FOUND YOUR TURTLE. IT WAS NEAR THE TRASH CANS. WHEN I FOUND IT, IT WAS JUST A CIRCLE. NO HEAD, NO FEET. I ACTUALLY FOUND IT ONCE BEFORE THAT, BUT I PUT IT ON A TABLE TO TAKE A PICTURE FOR YOU AND FORGOT ABOUT IT. I CAME BACK AN HOUR LATER AND IT WAS GONE. I THOUGHT IT FELL AND DIED, BUT THERE WAS NO BODY!"

From last week: 

I command-shift-3-caught the Bagel in a moment of pensivity at work.

father's day

my dad taught me to frame photos by including a portion of the foreground, and to hold my breath before pressing the shutter release. i'm proud to say that i think his vacation photos look a lot better than mine do.