eloise

this is how i generally feel these days. how many times can i listen to it on repeat?


the last thing i expected one year ago has happened and it looks like i'm staying in florida for the foreseeable future. i've been transitioning into my new group, doing 50/50 with my old job, all week. working two jobs at once has been rough but i like my new job a lot. i'm sitting in a fabrication shop with a bunch of men and at the end of my first day we sat in a circle and ate ice pops and listened to techno music. now i'm hard at work piecing together the logistics of how i'm going to get out of new york and shape chapter 9482992 of my life.

also, i lived in a hotel for for a few nights of this week, dropping off and picking up my car from the valet, and i felt like eloise.

7/11

this is kind of what my home life is like 

Fire dreams

Last week I dreamt that I spilled acetone everywhere and my hands were on fire. Last night I dreamt that I had to cremate my own body. I only had a small fire and I was worried about the smell. Last week I bought concert tickets to see CHVRCHES on Tuesday and Lykke Li on Thursday and tonight I went to see CHVRCHES and on my way out was given four free tickets to see Lykke Li on Thursday?

work week 1

babysit the makerbot via network camera, learn solidworks

 lana on repeat

baking powder

I came home today and one of my roommates, Engineer2, was in the living room with her friend who is also a professional intern living in our complex, who also happens to be a 'music producer' and was 'mixing' his electronic music in our living room at top volume. This was finally the inspiration I'd been looking for to send me to the gym post-work posthaste. Afterwards I was determined to spend the evening working hard and learning Solidworks but after I successfully stole and installed a hacked version I was too tired sore and sleepy to actually use the software.
Bedtime baby oh yeah

Sandra in the sun

Today I've been in Florida for one week. I'm loving my job but still missing my favorites something terrible.  One thing to note- in my first two days I heard "Mambo Number Five" twice, which is I think two more times than I've heard it in the last ten years.

brooklyn in the summer

Every time I come back to LA it's the same question - do I still know how to drive? Muscle memory does not disappoint yet because I'm slightly groggy in the Starbucks on Melrose Ave. Last night, Rothy, Yotam, and I flew out of JFK and were bored for five hours as we traveled a great distance with little effort. The highlight of the journey was three, solidly funny episodes of Portlandia to foreshadow and foresatire my trip to Portland next week with my parents. The day leading up to the night flight was awful, as always. Every time I pack is a sepulchral affair. Categorizing my objects according to their necessity somehow pokes at my sense of mortality and makes me feel like I'm at my own funeral. Meanwhile my petulant side refuses to believe that any other place could be as great/awesome/wonderful as my current place and I want to have a tantrum.

Granted, the time leading up to the departure was particularly vibrant and New Yorky in the best ways. Youjin, Fangyu, Kang, and I had fancy BBQ and then ate ice cream from Duane Reade on the waterfront at night in front of the Manhattan skyline. Mrs. Tuckersman and I went to the Ai Weiwei exhibit and then sat in the park and then ate burgers. Cerrito, Kelsa, Caroline, Jill, and I went to jazz club in the West Village that's been standing since the 1930s and listened to dixieland jazz performing by old men who'd been playing that timeslot for the past 30 years. I had ramen with my Texan cousin and her Tennessean boyfriend in the East Village and then went to a Bushwick loft rooftop 40th birthday bash that was broken up by the cops. Cerrito and I went to a Belgian beer bar that looks like a monastery and forces all patrons to speak at a whisper, and then we went to another Belgian beer bar, and then we went to a dive bar and played skeeball and almost the entire Lana del Rey Born to Die album on the jukebox. Aijia, Oscar, subletter Lenka, and Jed's bff Nate and I had vegan Ethiopean food in the neighborhood and it was delicious. I didn't expect that. Buca, Mrs. Tuckersman, and I went to a very fancy Williamsburg rooftop bar and then Yotam had a birthday at another Williamsburg bar where we ended up having the most amazing conversation with a group of young, secretly liberal Hasidic men who said that their lives had been changed by the internet, and then went home and basked in the ethereal light of laser stars as they danced across faces.  

ultraviolence

i've been very diligently listening to lana's new album and today i've become obsessed with Black Beauty

i adore u

cat eye comparison

i listened to that Lana - Never Let Me Go song 46 times today. it's not a sad song but it is sad-sounding and i think it messed with my mood.

i get the feeling that the human interpretation of a cat eye is pretty far off the mark from cat eyes

out in bushwick

It's a warm shiny mid-60s day out and the neighborhood is full of people. On my way to this coffee shop I saw a film shoot with men in swimming trunks posing with rainbow inflatable beach balls, passed the one tree on Starr that's in fluffy pink abloom, and heard the tattoo guns humming away inside of the parlor by the subway.

queen of disaster

how did i just find out about this?! SO GOOD

thesis day

IT'S THESIS DAY IT'S THESIS DAY

doe eyes

there was a boy playing piano and singing judy/ella jazz standards at a coffee shop in my neighb yesterday and it was glorious.

here is beautiful young liza minnelli

here you come again

this has totally been my jam

video games

last last summer

city mouse

I had some good things happen to me today but now I feel so much sad feelings and anxiety about the ambiguity of my not-so-distant-future career, its geolocation, and its effect on interpersonal relations with loved ones.

Here's my lullaby:

toto africa

I saw a guy in the subway playing guitar and singing Africa by Toto and his singing was so good that it was one of the best subway performances I've ever seen.

painter song

blessed whitney

this is going to sound like a sick valentine's day cry for help, but it's not, unless subliminally it is, but i've been really into listening to whitney houston / didn't we almost have it all