heinz

just saw a heinz ketchup commercial of a germinating seed that grows into a tomato plant and sprouts a ketchup bottle. it's captivating.

can't wait for toddlers&tiaras on tlc.

kats birthday

fireworks make my heart so fast

here and here

temporary conclusion: best songs on here,here,andhere are going away and one sail, one sea

99 ranch

highlights from grocery shopping with my mother

- she feels my arm. "you're a pig. but at least i hear they're smart."

- comparing pickle labels to make sure to buy the pickles from taiwan, not china

- "just marry someone who is stupid and nice and will follow you around and listen to what you say"

- i'm driving, she is in the back seat. i hear, "woof! woof! it's hot! woof woof!"

one sail, one sea

mexico was one hundred and seven degrees hot and eighty percent humid. the weather was absolutely rabid. i knew that there are very beautiful beaches in the baja area, but i didn't realize that these places are basically like the tropics. chunks of rainforest-like areas. we went to cabo san lucas, mazatlán, puerto vallarta. so so beautiful the places. i enjoyed talking to the people i met there, despite at times accidently blurting out yes and no in danish instead of spanish. my mother somehow managed to bump into two of her customers on the boulevard in puerto vallarta. they said, the world is really too small.

27 dresses

on weather: stepping out into the current heat is like being punched on the face. it is the type of weather for the opening of any good fiction story, where men loll about, irritable and pugnacious, and water drips off of everything. it's the type of weather that would make bridesmaid dress shopping, an activity i should enjoy because i enjoy buying unnecessary clothing, miserable. i spent a july afternoon climbing in and out of crumpled towers of satin intended for a january wedding. i sweated into expensive-only-because-of-the-weddingpremium fabric and left a graveyard of unflattering dresses. and there is something very gone with the wind in that itself.

going away

small hitch in travel plans...

where the hell is my passport?

ricfan09

saw up with travis - thoroughly enjoyed the film. it was filled with enough cute to make my week.

Let me tell you, on the Buzz Lightyear's Astro Blasters ride there is a CM who is just great. His name is Ric and he makes me believe in the magic of Disneyland everytime I see him. He is always telling stories, making funny jokes, and letting people do things most cast members wouldn't ever bother with. This guy is bound to be the next Maynard. He is so helpful too. So next time you're in Tomorrowland, look for Ric on the Astro Blasters, he'll make your day. MAYNARD WATCH OUT!
REPORTED: RicFan06 22 MAY 06

$$$

i liked when shopping in south coast plaza yesterday i was in marni, where an item of clothing ranges from $1000-$2000, and my mother kept proclaiming loudly that the store looked like a thrift shop and how weird it was that there was only one of each item. even better was when she told the michael kors saleswoman that the purse the woman was hawking looked like a laundry bag.

luna

i would be more satisfied if the moon looked more like a place

sbc

absolutely can't wait to see bruno. can it come out now?

new phone

after losing my cell phone in tivoli, i came home and acquired a replacement - same species as the one i had before. since then i have been very diligently teaching the new twin's predictive texting function all of the curse words that i use in my classy daily conversations, which its predecessor had already learned and submissively proffered in its collective word bank. now when i decide that the word boobs or bullshit or fucker needs to be part of my cell phone's vocabulary, i feel somewhat like i am corrupting a child.

here, here, and here

after letting the new album sink in, my conclusion:

6 to 4

ratio of listenable songs to skippers

largely unremarkable, but i accept it. i can't decide which is my favorite song. but worst song on the disc? BORED OF YOUR LOVE. the band is not called man&dia. thanks.

honglaowai

i am so so so exhausted from work that tonight i am not taking my dog on our 11 pm walk. i feel like my body is melting and floating away from me. so my mother recently discovered youtube. when i got home from work we listened to videos of taiwanese oldies. and then we found a video of this old, extremely famous taiwanese song about the merits of hard work sung by an american who must be on crack.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rq6SP9YxBGQ&feature=channel_page

my mom was absolutely pissing herself. i concur. it is pretty goddamn funny.

i do believe in fairies

last night i had dinner with a friend of eight years and an australian friend i have not seen in more than three. today i made two children genuinely happy with silly trinkets i stole from behind front desk. after work drove home with basshunter, louis armstrong, and randy newman in my car and with my favorite fireworks in the world swelling upwards and bursting outwards and sizzling downwards above me. felt the rare feeling of feeling as lucky as i actually am. i do all of my best feeling in the car. in my rearview mirror, big goldflashing sparkles rained down on the city.