fireworks

you never know how earnestly you wanted something until you find yourself crying in some starbucks, obscuring yourself poorly behind a blue binder filled with notes on management, blurrily noticing the minutiae of tattered corners and fibrous cardboard. at this point you know everyone's seen you.

disappointment comes in very deep waves which exhaust your body. although borne originally of your low self-esteem, it somehow manages to offend your lost pride. you never know how excited you were until you're driving north at night and all of the headlights and tail lights and each of the stoplights golights and slowlights are exploding in wet dazzling colored starbursts