things that are very danish

3. licorice

i always wondered while eating jelly beans why the jelly belly people even bother to make the licorice bean. no one eats it and everybody hates it. i abandon clusters of licorice jelly beans at the bottom of the bag along with those popcorn-flavored ones which make me want to vomit. red vines are acceptable but, face it, they're not really licorice. 

i have discovered that licorice exists for danes. they love their licorice candies. and beware of lakrids-flavored ice cream because that's licorice. it's like europeans and black currant. currant flavor don't exist in the states because we just don't like it. Meanwhile, everyone else seems to love that shit. funny to think that a whole region of people can have a same general taste preference. personally, black licorice and black currant could stop existing and my world would keep turning. might even turn a bit faster. 

4. babies

i have never seen as many babies as i have seen in denmark. 

this isn't any illusion or paranoia of mine -  my friends have all made remarks about it at some point in time. maybe danish people know how disastrously good-looking they are and can't wait to reproduce with each other. whatever the reason, danes seem to start having children at a younger age than people do at home. i don't think i'd ever seen a pram before moving to copenhagen. at home, we only have strollers. i think our baby culture is afraid of taking babies outside in case they catch some disease or cold. we coddle them at home and don't really take them out until they can sit in strollers. however, you see batrillions of prams out on the streets, regardless of the weather - wind, rain, sun, snow, with small gurglers inside, looking at you quizzically with their preconscious stares. you see them lugged on and off of buses and metros all day. in addition to the plethora of babies, you also see the cohorts of babydom in numbers - waddling pregnant ladies and teetering toddlers.   

oh morning

how does a good night out evolve into getting into a physical street fight with danish girl chavs? 

the world may never know. 

classes over

going out tonight. luux. big party.

norge

if i could do it all over, i would learn norwegian. it's myfavorite scandinavian language. it sounds like happy singing.

last danish class was sad. min lærer, mikael, offered to skype with me in danish. "jeg er professionel skyper." hvor rar. jeg vil savne ham.

things that are very danish

1. danish girls cramming themselves into a single bathroom stall 

any time you're waiting in line for the bathroom you'll see a stall swing open and 2-3 danish girls come clown-car-tumbling out of it. to my knowledge, this doesn't really happen at home. what the hell are they doing in there?

2. tea lights

danes love their candles. especially the little ones. whenever they have guests over, there without a doubt will be tea lights aflame on the table. even if you are a 23-year-old young business professional living in the quintessential bachelor pad, there will be three tea lights aglow on your windowsill. and when questioned about it, you'll mumble something about needing more light. from those tiny little candles. 

endings

i'm less concerned that i'm taking my last final in half an hour and more distressed that today is my last day of danish

on chrome

i love google chrome because i can type the letter "i" into the web address bar and icanhascheezburger.com instantly materializes

chrome knows me so well.

dansk

i was the only student in danish today and i got to learn whatever i wanted 

chow

i get so excited for dinner that i might as well be a dog

considering that i've been in my room all day, expending no energy, i don't think being hungry is justified at all.

me(g)dia

i've downloaded tons of music only to delete it all in disgust.

going over innovation management slides while listening to meg&dia at high volume. i highly recommend http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mudhEAvzy0Q&feature=channel_page

i would do anything anything to trade my man voice with dia frampton's perfect voice.

the absolute first thing i'm going to do when i get home is buy here,here,andhere.

this is a case of incremental, as opposed to radical, innovation.

media

to read:

a short history of nearly everything

alice's adventures in wonderland

atlas shrugged

finnegan's wake

house of leaves

indiana

my cousin the saint

nausea

nightwood

pride and prejudice

ragtime

speak, memory

the brothers karamazov

the foundation pit

the house on sugar beach

the republic

the unbearable lightness of being

the year of living biblically

talk, talk

to see:

a star is born

babes in arms

babes on broadway

battlestar galactica

blood diamond

changeling

de-lovely

eastern promises

edward scissorhands

e.t.

girl crazy

godfather 2,3

gran torino

hercules

hans christian andersen

high school musical 3

james bond (all)

little miss sunshine

milk

monsters inc.

pushing daisies

ragtime

rain man

rebecca

revolutionary road

slumdog millionaire

sweeney todd

the aviator

the blue lagoon

the curious case of benjamin button

the dark crystal

the edge of love

the truman show

the twilight zone

thoroughly modern millie

thumbelina

what's eating gilbert grape

deep thoughts

so i washed my clip-in hair extensions and when they dried they became wavy. and i have nothing to straighten them with.

isn't it funny to think that your hair would just keep doing what it does without you attached to it

on that note, my hair has been fucked up for days now and i don't know what to do about it.

know when to throw in the towel

in my studying efforts, i've downloaded 3948 songs, written 38429 e-mails, read 404203830948398394 blogs.

it is beautiful outside.

i am going to go to the outside.

i am going to buy ice cream from the shop around the corner and i am going to eat it and read jamaica inn in the sun.

jamaica inn may suck, but it certainly does not suck harder than How Smart Companies Bypass Radical Innovation to Enter and Dominate New Markets does, that dirty whore.

studying hard

i've been experimenting with New Music and hating all of it.

download, listen, delete.

final on wed = lots of blogging

when your study to distraction ratio is about 1:7, you wonder why struggle it's clearly futile why aren't you getting ice cream at the shop around the corner

still not lucid

this morning had the most vivid dream of working as a mermaid.

i remember the gold sequined flats we wore

and another girl named valerie whom everyone mocked for being too fat to be a mermaid, for having to use the most paint and sequins to conceal her body

we swam around in a tank in the day in a sort of theme park and some of the mermaids wore blank white masks to appear eerie. one girl remarked on how we could tell who everyone was even in the water according to how tan they were and how graceful they were. the entire place was creepy dark and cave-like and there was an underwater bar.

at night we performed in a show involving popping in and out of holes in the ground and throwing our heads back and flipping our multi-colored wigs to the beat. the prima ballerina wore all gold and was a huge bitch. i had one friend, a bit chubby and punky. at one point she realized that print outs of her myspace profile were on the stage and i had to stand on them to keep anyone from seeing her personal information. the show was for middle-aged rich LA types who'd paid $100 to attend. we had some technical problems and the music stopped for a bit but the show went on, featuring a snow white-type witch stirring a cauldron.

Real Me kept questioning why I wasn't having trouble breathing, and every time I asked, i would suddenly feel short of breath and would have to go up for air. in the end, i settled that there must be plenty of carbon dioxide dissolved into the water and that with practice i had become accustomed to it.

i am hungry

i have been named on exchange the bottomless pit because i always am eating want to eat

right now besides the whirling twirling vortex of hunger in my stomach,

i feel the need to watch pride and prejudice with kiera and cry my eyes out

i'm not depressed or sad even but i feel like it would be so satisfying

update

omg i FOUND MY NECKLACEEE

after a full day of hung-over searching.

it was under jamaica inn and above the cotton balls.

back in the game, boys.

i also think i write in this jokeblog too much.

my whims, exaggerations, spontaneous semi-truths, real aspirations

i have big plans for this puppy. i'm thinkin...pictures

the day after

oh my god pia just recounted the state i was in when i got home last night

apparently she found me sleeping on the floor of my room. i'd taken off my dress and grabbed a new one out of my closet and put it on, but without the sleeves, so it was hanging around my chest like a towel.

i tried to get something out of my cabinet next to the sink and had knocked everything out onto the floor. i climbed out of bed and stumbled and swayed to take out my contacts, only to realize that i'd taken them out already. then i sat on my bed and ate an entire container of tuna salad.

apparently it was hilarious.

i lost one of my favorite necklaces last night (specifically, the one i pick up boys with) and i like to pretend i'm not attached to my material possessions but i'm pretty pissed about it

also, the pad thai i paid 63 kroner for tonight was atrocious. come on, denmark

the nerve

is my new favorite website. 

Also, whenever you want to find something in the gay community, ask your local drag queen. They are like the oracles of the gay world. You want a leather bar, they can find it, an orgy, they can find it, a gay Mexican, they will find it. Have faith in those penis-tucking, wig-wearing, makeup-loving, sassy bitches, because they are nosy-as-fuck and know everything. They probably already knew you were looking for a gay Mexican.

bradford jesus man

judy garland - embraceable you

it's 3:15 pm and i'm still hung over. i feel weak all over from probable alcohol poisoning. a nice turkish man got off his bike, locked it up, and walked me home from the metro last night.

so gross

unclogged a toilet today. 

apparently i'm just full of domestic surprises.

oh my nose

i am legitimately having an allergic reaction to studying.

i can't breathe.

to-do list

tiesto.

i jest.

but i am going to try to go to these places this summer.

http://theguide.latimes.com/Tiesto/lists/177011/tiestos-best-of-l-a

vil du med?

millionaires

just drunk skyped my parents. had a hell of a time faking sobriety.

i have good drinking plans for the next two nights. i'm excited. to say the least.

i need to hear kun for mig at least four times at kulør bar tomorrow night. jolene on friday.

conclusion

i've lived in copenhagen since january. hvide lam is the best bar in this city. let's not dispute any more.

just got home

epic rainstorm. more later. danish now. tah-tah. 

"Du kommer bare i morgen, og så skal vi have lidt sjov med Modultest 3. Du skal ikke forberede dig, bare være frisk." - Mikael

hungry again

i just marinated a steak for the first time in my life. 

it wasn't hard. 

apparently this stuff isn't that hard to figure out. 

i just, like, poured stuff on it. 

lord

what an infuriating night

i hate that all my health and good fortune can't mollify my furies

you can either go to bed and accept submersion in unconsciousness as a small death

or you can sulk, light vanilla candles, put a strange dutch dance track on repeat, busy yourself with obsessive-compulsive tasks, refuse to die

put your hands up for detriot.

saving myself

for the chinese buffet. 

i've had only bacon, yogurt, chocolate milk, and cherry tomatoes today.

8 pm, destruction at the forum buffet. 

i'm so hungry i think i'm about to die.  

uh-oh

i've realized that all future posts need to exceed 140 characters in order to avoid being tweets (96)

shit. (114)

jem

"Du Maurier was also the cousin of the Llewelyn Davies boys, who served as J.M. Barrie's inspiration for the characters in the play Peter Pan"

i've been reading a copy of jamaica inn by daphne du maurier that i stole from a hostel in cork and it sucks so bad

seriously

how do you lose an eyeball contact?

oh m god

i

'm so trashed that i just tried to take out my contacts and realized that the left one has been missing?

bad habit

every time i'm drunk i end up trying to speak danish to random danes. so embarrassing. needs to stop...immediately.

aspirations

i want to go back to los angeles and paint the town red

not that i want to go back to los angeles. but when i inevitably do.

elaborationadmission

i don't like all feet, just nice-looking ones

sometimes when people are talking to me and their hands are in plainsight i just want to reach over and hold one especially if they are particularly small or nice or animated but i realize this is really inappropriate unless i am drunk then i don't realize

separation anxiety

this must be some cruel joke. my departure flight from cph is at 7:55 in the morning. i'm stabbing my past trip-booking self for lack of foresight and all-around stupidity.

wtf

night of responsible drinking went well,

i jumped into a lake

realization

i think i want a wig?

less talk a little more action

when i bike really fast i get the feeling that i should be wearing a mouth guard

i'm starting to feel panicky at the thought of leaving copenhagen

dagen

going to list my day. blog.

danielle and i went to various loppe shops. i picked up a danish-english ordbog, fem kroner, and a copy of ragtime, to kroner. looking forward to reading both.

then we bought pastries filled with whipped cream from fotex and ate them on the grass in front of kilen. then we ate limeade popsicles in the holger courtyard.

we papered two walls in my room, smoked an apple, and painted portraits of each other. danielle is a forest maiden and i am a tentacled creature.

then we went out and bought the most massive sandwiches. the man was upset at us for ordering separately and forcing him to toast sandwiches in two rounds of toasting. we ate them on a bench under a tree across from the blue dog cafe.

felt like we would explode,

so ate more limeade popsicles.

napped. for what turned out to be a 2.5 hour nap. i dreamt that i had a white cat which perched on my shoulder. woke up and it was danielle's head+hair on my shoulder.

finally made it to the hvide lam, an amazizng jazz bar next to nørreport station. it's on Kultorvet and began in 1807, "En gammel hyggelig bar". jeg dansede swing med en gammel dansk mand. i had a lot of fun. the bassist was paul (wallace?), one of the men i'd seen playing in the trio outside the bar a few weeks ago. manden som dansede jeg med sagde, this was paul's last night playing - he is returning to australia tomorrow after 30 years in copenhagen.

i biked home and stjernekiggede in the courtyard. lying on the picnictabletops is perfect. did you know that the big dipper is perfectly framed by the holger danske courtyard. this is going to be useful for me: http://my.execpc.com/60/B3/culp/astronomy/Spring/Polar.html

i'll use it tomorrow. i would go back out but i'm too naked to do so at the moment.

tomorrow will be a good day for a shower.

morning is when i wake up

dreamt that i woke up and had gotten ten piercings while black-out drunk, have spent the real morning convincing myself that i don't want nipple piercings.

when you were young

i can feel my life changing.

i have just attained my last bottle of vodka. not related.

you'll want her for your valentine

For 15½ years my life was a complete and total ick. But then on the 23rd of June two things happened. I fell in love with two things. Jeff, my Moondoggie, and surfing.

dinosaur times

i had my (roast beef, ran out of salmon) bagel outside of dalgas have this afternoon. balmy. i was alone and indulged in eating like an animal. i tugged on the bagel with my clenched teeth and sat momentarily with a leaf hanging out of my mouth. dinosaur time. i killed the bagel and realized as i was leaving that a young man on a balcony directly above me had been watching me in amusement. conclusion: all my embarassing moments are made public.

boys and guitars

they stare at their fingers with furrowed brows, trying to place them in their intended places on the grid. some purse their lips in concentration, like they are drinking out of straws. others press their lips together, as if they have eaten their lips. they rave about the sublimity of pink floyd and led zepplin and stairway to heaven. there are toe tappers and there are heel tappers. not always to the beat, sometimes to a nervous rhythm. 

got your flowers

thanks for the beautiful flowers,I am doing much better now, I think pretty soon I can start using can instead of cluches. cliff & rosie went to uc berkerly interview this weekend so me & your dad & missy will celebrate mother's day together. hope you enjoy as much as you can for the remaining days while you were there. I saw in magazine they have this super expensive jean in nethland ,I think the name is called g-star made by a dutch company,the price range from 1-5000 dollars, do'nt try to buy one, mom

the gawful truth

i'm sick and tired of listening to people talk about traveling.

discrepant lucidity

i dreamt again recently that i was getting starbucks or boba. i have had at least 6-8 of these dreams at this point. after five months, i don't actually crave these things anymore, but apparently i have some sort of hidden fixation.

i don't think i can expound well enough the joy of walking with food. kronberg slot is beautiful, but even more so with an ice cream piled with whipped cream and strawberry jam in hand. the sun shines a little brighter.

kæledyr

pet. literally, an animal you can cuddle.

firkløver

all i want is magic

big test today

good morning. i have just brewed the grossest cup of tea. do not ever put milk or sugar into lipton gold tea.

calling out

keith you blog lurker

requirements

i need greek yogurt right now. right now. 

sommerplaner

stargaze often

roam the south 

lifeguard

san francisco

walk through indy

scuba certification

snorkel

secure a videocamera-->videotape

las vegas 

mexico 

new bar every week 

shop 

cook for my parents 

tycho's elk and dwarf

Tycho was said to own one percent of the entire wealth of Denmark at one point in the 1580s and he often held large social gatherings in his castle. He kept a dwarf named Jepp (whom Tycho believed to be a clairvoyant) sat under the table during dinner. Pierre Gassendi wrote that Tycho also had a tame elk and that his mentor asked whether there was an animal faster than a deer. Tycho replied, writing that there was none, but he could send his tame Elk. When Wilhelm replied he would accept one in exchange for a horse, Tycho replied with the sad news that the elk had just died on a visit to entertain a nobleman at Landskrona. Apparently during dinner the elk had drunk a lot of beer, fallen down the stairs, and died.

new love

i want dj tiesto so bad

inappropriate

i would like to have a child with a hawaiian name

busen busen

on my way to kongens nytorv to buy roses this morning, i waited at a bus stop next to a little boy, about three, with white-blonde hair and big cheeks, travelling with his grandfather. the boy and i kicked our feet around midair together. he bubbled away at me, but the only word i could understand was busen busen, the bus the bus. we waited and when the big orange bus came i pointed at it and said busen and he was excited.

hjemme igen

after many days of travel, may i never eat potato chips again.