kim

i've decided that miss saigon is my favorite musical and i've never even seen it

i would go back in time to watch it

blurry

really actually going blind, i think

chastisement

got in trouble today with the father for not checking my tire pressure. good thing you didn't get your tires rotated. the back tires are low on air! you can't wait until the air pressure light comes on. then it's too late! you're supposed to do it every month. i told you to check. did you see those tires? go out and look at them! see how it's worn here? feel the tread. now feel the tread on the front tires. can you tell the difference? bad dog!

endless process

backing up my computer files.

bastion of responsibility.

armstrong

does my playing louis on my laptop affect my dog's dreams?

is she trotting down new orleans, sniffing lamp posts and discarded beads, thinking about beignets? whimpers at a couple sharing a plate of crayfish. listens to a wizened old trumpet player streetside?

a kiss to build a dream on

really actually going face blind, i think

paper moon

do you feel antsy? i feel like i can't sit still. i can't read and i can't sleep. i want to walk around in the dark and have a garden party.

louis armstrong - a kiss to build a dream on

hgtv

i'm actually disturbed that HGtv is re-running christmas decorating episodes that i KNOW i watched last year

is there no artistic integrity left

space

OMG e-mail hiatus has resulted in mountains upon mountains of e-mail

all i want for christmas is a highly visible public figure who is a positive role model for the physically disabled. michael j fox does not count.

i will also accept tickets to the taylor swift concert.

vh1

behind the music 50 cent so good

legend

me: mom, do you know the story of thanksgiving?

mom: ...

mom: ...

mom: i just make the turkey every year.

mom: {after some thought} the pilgrims were very hungry because the winter was very cold. and then many turkeys flew in the sky and the pilgrims ate them and didn't die.

me: ...

thanksgiving

i am thankful for the opportunity to pretend to be julia stiles this year

velcro

we have a bad dog in our midst

one day

12 am - panda express, 12 pm the grove, lost souls cafe, bradbury building, the smell, attempt to find wolf mural in arts district, 1.5 hour drive home, dinner with parents, ralphs thanksgiving grocery shopping, starbucks, dream cafe hookah, catch up with brother, 12 am - birthdayphonechat with piggy chen

istanbul

on occasion, i have these online conversations with this turkish man i met in istanbul.

Valerie

i'm good!

i have no class today

11:21Aybars

:)

it must be something good for you :):):

11:22Valerie

ahaha yeah it is

11:23Aybars

:)

11:23Valerie

what's new in your life?

11:23Aybars

nothing new

still single

:)

what about you

did you get married with baby :)

Valerie

ahahaha no not yet

i don't want to get married until i'm 30

11:24Aybars

:DS

so you ahev more 12 years to get married

:)

toil and trubble

drinking airborne is a lot like being a witch and drinking out of your cauldron. my cup of airborne is sizzling next to me and the foamy bubbles sit on the surface, fat, unperturbed, yellow. i hope i am transfigured.

paparazzi

I am a sick man . . . An unattractive man. I think my liver hurts.

today i feel unhappy with my self.

i find that when i feel unhappy, it is usually best to go to bed. everything is more reasonable in the morning. but i also feel too restless to sleep and too shaky from being so hung over because i drank half a bottle of vodka.

i should eat less food and watch videos of lady gaga instead. the scene in the paparazzi video where the body is being examined reminds me of hard, during the last set when they had a bunch of monster doctors operating on an alien corpse. there was an ominous heartbeat track playing and lots of lound noises, sharp objects, bits flying around. on one level, i knew it was really scary. on another level, i was in no state to care.

no more vodka

being hung over makes me feel more like an animal. breathing is so labored.

fred 62

last night's nightcap turned into rounds of vodka shots. oh my life.

i see

taylor swift -

sparks fly

rituals

in the morning i am an indecisive hermit crab

. . .

?!!??!?!!?!?

hair

thinking about, how i would like to have been a hippie in the 60s in a very colorful bus

i once kissed a boy who was on lsd but i think this is a poor approximation

november seventeen christmas at starbucks

i cannot handle the holiday window decorations at starbucks.

"I wish GROWN UPS could remember being KIDS"

"I wish for a SNOW DAY"

"I wish EVERYONE could see how much we all have in COMMON"

these nauseating sentiments, coupled with my inability to watch where the wild things are and the neverending story, prove that i, indeed, do not remember being a kid, if i, apparently, ever was one at all

i used to be friends with

China is beautiful, no matter the nonstop construction, destruction, etc. There is hope for such a nation as this. Tonight as our team met after our awesome showers (praise God for those, omg), we planned to meet for 10 minutes. But we started to worship and God was just moving on our hearts and definitely all around us. We began to pray and share visions he was giving us. Holy spirit was so thick in that place, I felt like he had wet the floors and covered us with thick grace. He was giving us grace to walk freely into his presence, throwing off our shame and sin, and being washed in his pure joyful presence. The room was seriously oozing with glory and surrounded by angels.

regal horned lizard

have you ever been so mad at someone, that you wished that you could build up the pressure in your eyes to pop a blood vessel and squirt blood on her?

i was up until four am compensating for the raging incompetence of others

i confronted her, that dirty scoundrel. she kept lying to me and blinking her eyes (they say that the more a person blinks, the more untrustworthy she is) and i couldn't decide which was making me more angry.

cemex

love love love my new headphones. sound comes out of both sides. and it's like wearing a comfortable helmet.

hate my group project. group projects never fail to remind me of how much i hate other people.

tak for hygge

Van Buren House

Holger Danskes Vej

Chalfonte

Van buren house was the first room that ever felt like it was really mine. it was the first time i'd lived surrounded by colored walls. it had a microwave and a baby fridge and built-in bookshelves and a walk-in closet. Holger danskes vej was the first dorm i lived in. i would crank up the heater all the way all the time so that it was a terrarium. the windows were double-paned and the interstice was the best refrigerator. it kept drinks colder and safer than leaving them in the shared kitchen would. Chalfonte is my new home. i like the high ceilings and the new regolit very much.

space 15 twenty

can't stop listening to

animal collective - fireworks

thinking about

the miraculous power of blankets to stay warm without you

regolit

can't wait for my headphones to come in the mail

zeitgeist

who is having a horrible couple of days

musical theater workshop

auditions hubbub. today i had no patience for actors.

bad romance

love lady gaga's new video

everquest

a souffle i had in shanghai two years ago

sam anderson

My eating habits shifted very suddenly, seven years ago, because of the transcendent cuteness of my wienerdog—his sweet breath and soft fur and perfectly symmetrical ears; his expressive little huffs and grunts; his determination to keep me warm whenever I took a nap. Eventually, my love for him grew so powerful that it spread, like a tidal wave of snuggles, to cover the entire animal kingdom.

crocodile tears

i realized, in a very twisted sort of a day last week, that i can make myself cry just by assuming cry face. is this muscle memory?

jumping class

this is a perfect evening at urth.

the music is good. i think it was madame butterfly when i came in and then snorah jones.

free sample of pumpkin pie. so so good. and the pumpkin pie man chatted with me about how he had never had pumpkin pie before this year because they don't eat it in mexico city and how he has discovered that he loves pumpkin pie. he's the best.

there's no one here. no babies, no brunching parentals. it's only 5 and it's nighttime. the lights are glowy.

i'm not in class and it feels so so good.

food diary

the barista working the bar at starbucks right now announces drinks like a banshee announcing death!

chatty kathy from teach for america is here again. i feel like she is becoming some minor comic-relief character in my life movie. i hear her effervesce education! and poverty! every so often and the words float into the air and pop with wafts of pink perfume.

i am enjoying starbucks' pasta salad with white chicken and salami, which i am consuming for purely gluttonous purposes.

pumpkin spice

this morning a man of unidentified national origin was whistling Summertime on his way into starbucks

his ladyfriend shook cinnamon and sugar onto her drink with such awkwardness and confusion that she looked like a visiting alien in a borrowed human body

perceived mumbling

Modern spoken Danish has gained a reputation as being exceptionally difficult for foreigners to understand and master. The nine Danish vowels represent sixteen different sounds and most of the consonants are unvoiced. A unique feature is the 'stod', the glottal stop, used to distinguish between several homonyms and words. The Danes also tend to drop inflectional endings, and this perceived mumbling, even in formal standard Danish, may present problems to those learning the language.

intelligentsia

yesterday i had the most delightful, awe-inspiring snack time at dusk at intelligentsia.

the perfect hot mocha, thick on your tongue, the most buttery chocolate layered cookie topped with oozing caramel and crunchy grains of salt.

it was a graying light when it began and nighttime when it ended

horror and personal distress impending

If I had a blackout, does that mean I should stop drinking altogether?
If you would seriously ask this question after having just one alcoholic blackout, your question itself is proof positive that you have a serious drinking problem. You are in the grip of an addiction that is distorting your ability to reason about your use of alcohol. Any further use of alcohol, ever, places you at high risk of having future blackouts and suffering progressively worse patterns of horror and personal distress related to alcohol.

latin hispanic chicano what

i really need mexican food or paella. oblige me?

diversity in the american broadway musical

my teacher just used the phrase "indian giver" and i am highly amused

grain

thinking about, van buren house

acquirings

i need new headphones. i have two sets of faulty ones.

one hurts my ear and the other is deaf in an ear.

i also need more fake eyelashes. i have two sets of faulty ones attached to my fayce.

so anti-climactic.

rave

hhm was good. light shows. candy. deadmau5. tootoo many cigarettes. happy happy.

in the beer garden an asian girl dressed as raggedy ann gave me a menthol cigarette and a dollar for two of my green glowing bracelets. i just couldn't get over how cute she was.