Last night I tried to meditate to get some perspective on things, meaning to make my problems matter less. The last (and only other time) I tried to meditate was with my father, when I was in elementary school. I fell asleep, curled on the floor. My pa, on the other hand, was a predigious meditator, though I'm not sure how much he does it anymore. I used to bop into my parents' walk-in closet and stumble upon him sitting cross-legged on the floor in the dark. I would scream out of startled fright and this would de-trance him and generally piss him off.
My head is usually so awash with images and words and paranoia that it's impossible for me to clear my mind. The intrusions subsided after sitting for some time. I was near approximating abyss when my cell phone went off - I died a thousand deaths from the shock. Afterwards, I was a ball of nerves, with thundering blood pressure and a muffled buzzing in my ears.
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