i've had a wonderful thanksgiving this year surrounded by handmade food and beloved family in my favorite city. i'm feeling grateful for that but also endlessly conflicted and troubled by neverending unknowns and variables about school (short-term: finals, long-term: thesis), employment/career/fate, human relationships, geographic situation, etc. and it all feels like a very heavy weight on the heartmind. i'm very much dreading going back to new york, place of dread.
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