mcmaster

i've been experiencing a very strong vacation withdrawal, which is most prominently characterized by an overwhelming disgust with every aspect of my current surroundings. i didn't expect to feel as heartbroken as i did when i was on the plane leaving copenhagen to return to the states and i've been haunted by a desire to abandon everything and move to scandinavia ever since. it's not fair to compare your real life to your vacation life, but i can't shake the suspicion that life there is more fulfilling in all arenas.

on my saturday in copenhagen i had the good fortune of seeing mcmaster, who moved to stockholm a year ago, and who happened to be changing trains in copenhagen on her way back to sweden from a festival. serendipity. i met her at central station and we lunched at bankeråt, the cafe where she, erik, and i had beers 7 years ago. then we had equivalent-to-7-euro iced coffees at a fancy coffee stand called the coffee collective. we sat in the grass at dronnings louise bro all the way up until we had to head back to central station, passing tivoli, to put mcmaster back on her train to stockholm. it's been 7 years and she's still one of those mythical beings, with unchanging magical vocal intonations and whose thoughts on life and humanity are a revelation.

kh

danish language forum, on the use of "KH" as a shortened form of the valediction "kærlig hilsen," ("love")

journey beginning

as of this morning i have returned from a grand adventure to europe, where i first went on a road trip with a carful of my high school girlfriends, and then on my first ever trip by myself, on a gran return to copenhagen 7 years post-study abroad. i consider no trip complete until i've irresponsibly lost my neck pillow somewhere on the planet, so, farewell pirrow (the one pa bought me for christmas to replace the one i lost) - i'm back in orlando. i'm going to write about my adventure snippets as they come.

in the week prior to my departure, my last grandparent, my ah-gong in ilan, passed away unexpectedly. though he no longer recognized most people he had known, we expected to have a few more years with him because his physical health was good. the funeral was already set for the 19th, which would be my last night in ireland before flying to denmark. i immediately thought to cancel the trip to attend the funeral, but decided with ma and pa to go on with the adventure and then go back to california in a few weeks to be with the family. it was a difficult decision but i think it was the right one.

because of perpetual geographical distance (america, taiwan) and perpetual language barrier (english, japanese/taiwanese), my grandfather and i were never close in the way that i think other people are with their grandparents. my strongest and warmest memories are of when he would take me out to the harbor when i was little to look at the fishing boats, when we would play mah-jong during chinese new year, and our shared love of his orchids, his stamp collection, and of photographs - family photos in particular. in chinese belief, after death, a person's spirit roams the earth for (7?) days, visiting family members and familiar places. i don't know what i feel about that, but i couldn't stop imagining that my grandpa, for the first time, might finally be seeing my life and understanding my personality and i felt good about what he would see.

on my last visit, feb 2015

 drinking beers

watsky

remind me how magnificent my life is

doppelganger

there is a girl in this cafe named valerie and i feel like i'm having a full-blown identity crisis