time

To me, piracy is something adventurous. It makes you think about Johnny Depp.

- Agnete Haaland, of the International Federation of Actors, arguing that piracy should no longer be used to describe illegal downloading because the term is too catchy

opal&vanille

In the Middle Ages, opal was said to confer the power of invisibility if wrapped in a fresh bay leaf and held in the hand.

This must have made for some awkward encounters. I have been wearing my grandmother's opal. it doesn't make me invisible but maybe it will make everyone ignore me.

today i was overtaken so suddenly by an all-consuming fatigue, day roofie. could do nothing but stumble down the stairs into my bedroom, grasping and clamoring for my bed. i swam under my duvet and recurrently woke to the blurry-eyed scent of pastries: my vanilla air freshener.

the unauthorized biography of samantha brown

adventures with russian books

To study first-year French is to enter a world of savoir-faire, beauty and romance. Instructive filmstrips show master chefs whisking halos of caramelized sugar; or Versailles woodworkers restoring antique marquetry; or Gallic lovers in deux chevaux, illustrating how “to go” and “to be” while tooting off for a weekend in Marseille. But this is not the world of Russian 101. In Russian 101, you get grainy black-and-white photos of concert halls “closed for repairs.”

It was a textbook dialogue that hooked Batuman, one between “Vera,” a physics graduate student, and “Ivan,” Vera’s physicist boyfriend, who with no explanation moves to Siberia and eventually marries someone else, by which time “Vera didn’t care anymore.”

book of odds

masterpiece by luca shapiro

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ncrEqHWih7A

waiting room

i was in kaiser on euclid today, waiting to get a shot.

the old man turned to the old woman sitting across from him.

"Isn't it hell, gettin' old?"

she looked up at him. "What?"

"Isn't it hell, gettin' old?" he repeated.

sleepyhead

and so ends a week of listening to people talk about their respective spring breaks in mexico...so usc

i learned that, in los angeles, there are many bad actors but many great headshot photographers

kødboderne 18

boleyn

Good Christian people, I am come hither to die, for according to the law, and by the law I am judged to die, and therefore I will speak nothing against it. I am come hither to accuse no man, nor to speak anything of that, whereof I am accused and condemned to die, but I pray God save the king and send him long to reign over you, for a gentler nor a more merciful prince was there never: and to me he was ever a good, a gentle and sovereign lord. And if any person will meddle of my cause, I require them to judge the best. And thus I take my leave of the world and of you all, and I heartily desire you all to pray for me. O Lord have mercy on me, to God I commend my soul.

old uzbek

70 words for duck, 100 words for crying

better things

8. In the middlegame, which of your pieces (not pawns!) were well placed ?

none

9. Which were poorly placed?

all

10. Did you manage to improve their placement later in the game?

i lost

rubbing my two brain cells together

11. When you have found a candidate move that appeals to you, don't play it! Instead, sit on your hands, literally.

12. Spend a few seconds looking at his possible replies. This prevents blunders.

14. List ALL the serious mistakes of the game.

gliddy gloop gloopy nibby nobby nooby

sabba sibby sabba nooby abba dabba

spent three hours running a casting call for a student film. i don't think i did much in total but the body seems to have stopped functioning.

wishes fishes

i wish ...

i wish usc would take me off its 322 listservs. as i've asked its various organizations and associations to do so countless times.

every piece of spam i get is another tiny heart attack

nightwood

Haven't I eaten a book too? Like the angels and prophets? And wasn't it a bitter book to eat? The archives of my case against the law, snatched up and out of the tale-telling files by my high important friend. And didn't I eat a page and tear a page and stamp on others and flay some and toss some into the toilet for relief's sake - then think of Jenny without a comma to eat, and Robin with nothing but a pet name; for pet names are a guard against loss, like primitive music.

barnes 127

ctpr 385

i am destined to be a casting director. arbitrary decisions are my forte.

cheboksary seals

last sleep i dreamt of seals with flowing white-blonde hair on their heads.
[seal POV] from underwater, swimming to the surface, rolling out onto an ice shelf in a glowing blue cave

they usually only live for a day, though these ones were older because the air in the cave is so clean

i breathed in the air and thought about how it certainly was much cleaner than los angeles' air

i trace this from two sources -

last night:

1. recommending eight below to yuliya

2. google imaging cheboksary and seeing too many mail-order brides with bleached hair

another dream, about a curtain being lifted in my living room, revealing that it is connected to a gymnasium. [overhead shot] dance team dancing into my living space.

this season

there will be no rhyme, no reason

mr. oizo-steroids

почему она такая кровожадная?

ох, боже спаси и сохрани!

v: like the noise caw caw

s: мы говорим кар-кар-кар

собака bark- bark, а по русски гав-гав

тяв-тяв так себя ведут маленькие собачки

кстати, как прошел день святого патрика?

я вот к сожалению не пил

был трезвый, как же так

v: тoже былa трезвaя

s: ясно, тебе тоже не повезло. шутка

--

s: drunk is much like бухой в жопу

в жопу пьяный

ужратый

нажравшийся

набухавшийся

a lot of different words

v: hah what's the difference

s: the difference is in their vulgarity, their tone

пьяный в жопу sounds little bit to harsh

it's literally says "drunk in ass"

v: this is useful

--

s: Actually, I've read some article about the wages of some foreign expatriates in Moscow, its often triple of what they get at home

i think you can go there, too. I think it's gonna be much like a huge safari. Russia is an Africa of the developed world

i think

my mom so badass

fangyun, on not using any pain medication both times she gave birth:

People nowadays can't handle any pain. They want to just lie there like they're dead.

carroll

hot date tonight

alice in wonderland with my mama

her favorite childhood story

don't disappoint, timmy

piggy

nothing reminds me more of piggy chen than the smell of lysol disinfectant spray

orange blooms on the highway

in echo park it smells like flowers and in the fairfax district it smells like flowers.

it doesn't smell like flowers in koreatown because nothing grows in koreatown.

as i lay dying a spider bit me

last night it suddenly felt as if a needle had been stuck right into the fleshy part of my left arm, half the needle in me, the sharp digging deep for vein, and half in air, eye shining in the onlylight of my laptop gleam. i turned on the regolit to search for the relic of drunk sewing. little brown spider was staring at me from my blankets and chanting the vengeance of the daddy long legs. the more i looked at him the more numb my arm felt and the more poison lumps sprouted on my skin. i beat him to arachnideath, the second casualty.

now i feel uneasy in my blankets.

where the dirty hipsters are

i went to a birthday party in echo park tonight that was so hipster that i expected all of the monsters from where the wild things are to stomp into the living room with their hoegaardens.

too rye ay

three-legged race finish at the dubliner in the city

driving sleeves

my ma told me in all seriousness the other day that i need to wear long sleeves when i drive so i don't get so tan

i'd rather be the darkest mofo in taiwan come april than wear "driving sleeves"

oy wtf i hate cinespace

no more "events" in LA.

can't handle it i'll just stay home

pink blooms on virgil

today a taxi driver told me he likes asian girls because they are more womanly and make good housewives

little does he know, i would make a horrible housewife

what do people do in la for fun

get really drunk and watch demo reels?

i think it could be fun

breakdownexpress

people need to cool it with the eyeball photoshopping in their headshots. they all basically look like this

except, you know, unintentional

the collected tales

But strangest of all are the events that take place on Nevsky Prospect. Oh, do not believe this Nevsky Prospect! I always wrap myself tighter in my cloak and try not to look at the objects I met at all. Everything is deception, everything is a dream, everything is not what it seems to be! You think this gentleman who goes about in a finely tailored frock coat is very rich? Not a bit of it: he consists entirely of his frock coat. You imagine that these two fat men who stopped at the church under construction are discussing its architecture? Not at all: they're talking about how strangely two crows are sitting facing each other. You think that this enthusiast waving his arms is telling how his wife threw a little ball out the window at a completely unknown officer? Not at all, he's talking about Lafayette. You think these ladies . . . but least of all believe the ladies. Peer less at the shop windows: the knickknacks displayed in them are beautiful, but they smell of a terrible quantity of banknotes. But God forbid you should peer under the ladies' hats! However a beauty's cloak may flutter behind her, I shall never follow curiously after her. Further away, for God's sake, further away from the street lamp! pass it by more quickly, as quickly as possible. You'll be lucky to get away with it pouring its stinking oil on your foppish frock coat. But, along with the street lamp, everything breathes deceit. It lies all the time, this Nevsky Prospect, but most of all the time when night heaves its dense mass upon it and sets off the white and pale yellow walls of the houses, when the whole city turns into a rumbling and brilliance, myriads of carriages tumble from the bridges, postillions shout and bounce on their horses, and the devil himself lights the lamps only so as to show everything not as it really looks.

(gogol 277)

lakeview kaiser

in the emergency room, everyone is pissed off. especially me. i want to kill everyone in sight, which totals to many fatalities after eight hours. in the emergency room, everyone is wearing blankets. who knows what they're hiding under there. if you came in well, when you leave you will not be so.

too glamorous

a russian PhD chemistry student told me yesterday that he doesn't like the weather in los angeles because it is "too bright" and "too glamorous." he likes the area around usc because he likes the broken roads and, the further south you go, the more it's like being in an exotic country, like somewhere in central america. he says, americans drink a lot and are very loud.

mitt liv som hund

Det kunde ha varit värre. Jag har faktiskt haft tur.

food is still hot

i feel shitey

but at least i am reunited with my doggins

simon's trousers

i was reading another woman's memoir today for my internship and in it the author talked about the time when, as a young girl, she pulled all the legs off of a daddy long legs. how horrific. i couldn't imagine ever ever touching one, let alone amputating one over and over again.

i was standing at my bathroom sink when i knocked my contact lens case off of the counter. i managed to reach down into the crevice in which it had fallen and tossed the offender into the sink. i realized that along with the lens case, i had actually grabbed a daddy long legs and had crushed one of its legs. when i came home from kharmful charms of daniil kharms, the daddy long legs was dead in my sink, skewed up in the rigor mortis of arachnideath.

pwned

[Event "Thursday Spring Midterm"]
[Site "?"]
[Date "2010.03.11"]
[Round "?"]
[White "Chen, Valerie"]
[Black "Peters, Jack"]
[Result "0-1"]
[ECO "C42"]
[PlyCount "42"]
[SourceDate "2010.03.11"]

1. e4 Nf6 2. d3 e5 3. Nc3 Bb4 4. Nf3 Nc6 5. a3 Bxc3+ 6. bxc3 d5 7. exd5 Nxd5 8.
Qd2 O-O 9. Bb2 Re8 10. O-O-O Qd6 11. Re1 Bg4 12. c4 Bxf3 13. gxf3 Nb6 14. Rg1
Nd4 15. Be2 Na4 16. Qg5 g6 17. f4 exf4 18. Qh6 Rxe2 19. c3 Rc2+ 20. Kb1 Rxb2+
21. Ka1 Nb3# 0-1

one perfect child

well, hell if i know!

cockroaches of the sea

i took a shower so hot my feet became feet-lobsters

i'm drinking coors light and thinking about how it kind of tastes like vomit

tuesday night wednesday morning

i think that last shot i took offended my better senses

selfportrait

Reproduction china doll head with characteristic poorly painted appearance

women's day

today i played durak for the first time, with four people speaking hurriedly in russian, which did not help me understand the rules.

spent the hours between 3:30 and 11:10 in the avid lab. i liked it.

drinking beer under projected stars to celebrate being a woman.

holger

rnk

i will brake check you

christina

i'm seeing how long i can go without buying groceries by surviving off of food abandoned in the kitchen by my old roommate, who moved away to greece

disney

just checked my lifeguarding schedule. i am not working a single day of spring break. whoo whoo! i have the best stage scheduler in town, frank.

homecoming

whenever you come home from a trip, it is virtually guaranteed that something will be dead.

my balloon has been felled.

fischer

just watched searching for bobby fischer...beh cute but nothing to write home about. the movie made chess look enjoyable, though whenever i play i am just completely awash with an all-over-sick-and-stupid sort of feeling

leaving

vegas is worse than death

new neurosis

was not as hung over as could have been possible/should have been probable today. appreciated.

i think i grind my teeth, because the teeth on one side are flatter than their mirrors. i compulsively felt them with my tongue all day. i blame my father for cultivating my hypochondria. he has a new ailment every time i see him and has convinced me that i am broken too.

i have a bruise on the bottom of my right foot from stepping on that damned ceramic snail. i have a rockhardlumpprotrusion on my left foot from when i slipped on the sidewalk and came tumbling to the ground late this afternoon on stanley and melrose. i'm good with first impressions. and physical comedy. i am gimping about every which way.

we are going to vegas tomorrow. wild.

aw fuck

ATTENTION SENIORS – Graduation is only 10 weeks away! If you don’t have a job yet, please make an appointment with me or my colleagues at the Career Planning and Placement Center (CPPC).

blanket

i woke up on the couch at five am this morning covered and kept warm by my humming laptop, so maternal

voegele

what time is it and who am i

so ha whoa

i am so drunk i can't even see,

everything i try to lookat slides away in sheets

hand-rolled cigarettes and korean food

no o ve

good night of meeting neighbors

alternate update

alternate fail

need more options

nachalo

solvang souvenir

little snail