Happy August! I just officially declared that I'm moving out at the end of the month.
No more
- having my drinking cups used as paintbrush washing cups and left standing with dirty paint water in them
- living in a drug den with people coming constantly to pick up
- being woken up by the TV blaring in the middle of the night
- being woken up by electric guitar being played plugged into an amp in the middle of the night
- listening to other people have sex
- having a revolving door of floozy girls in and out of the apartment every night/morning
- having no access to common space because of constant habitation of living room of roommate and girlfriend
- competing for the bathroom in the morning with roommate girlfriend / often losing the race and running late in the morning as a result
- having all of our toilet paper used for god knows what by OCD roommate
- no one ever buying toilet paper when it's clearly anyone's but my turn
- worrying that asthma cat will die
- cat vomit on my rug and the smell never ever coming out
- having all my beers stolen out of the fridge or my energy drink stolen off the table
- having every single dish, utensil, pan in the kitchen used to cook one extravagant meal and left in a pile in the sink for over a week
- clogging the kitchen sink with food even though it's a fucking sink and not a garbage disposal, continuing to use the sink until everything in it is standing in a pool of stagnant water
- dead mice everywhere
- apartment that smells like weed, incense, never-cleaned litter box, and dead mice
- being propositioned via text in the middle of the night for over an hour to the point of turning my phone on silent and locking my door because a roommate is "joking" about coming into my room / waking up to 15 more texts
- getting texts about how we "all need to be cleaner" from the person who makes the apartment a stinking garbage heap / aggressive text responses when i point out how much cleaning i do
- being sent a passive/aggressive/more aggressive e-mail for being in the kitchen drinking wine for 45 minutes while a roommate's DATE was happening
- room so small that i knock something over every time i turn around
- internet so bad that i can't watch anything without pre-loading it for 20 minutes
- fridge completely full of rotting food belonging to one person
- same person cleaning out the fridge randomly and throwing out all my food without asking
- living with someone who won't get out of bed to open the door for me when i'm locked out, even if it means i have to stay overnight at someone else's house because i can't get in
- having to let a roommate stay in my room while i'm in town so he can put up his parents in his room / not giving me more than a day's notice on this request
- living with someone who neglects to feed his animals, so that i end up having to do it because i can see they haven't eaten in two days
- living with males who prowl on my friends and blatantly look them up and down
- being the only one who ever cleans the bathroom counter, sink, toilet, or shower
- entertaining stupid conversations with blacked out drunks
- being pressured to not cook in the kitchen because it's summer and i'm going to make the apartment hot
FUCK YOU.
Next.
No more
- having my drinking cups used as paintbrush washing cups and left standing with dirty paint water in them
- living in a drug den with people coming constantly to pick up
- being woken up by the TV blaring in the middle of the night
- being woken up by electric guitar being played plugged into an amp in the middle of the night
- listening to other people have sex
- having a revolving door of floozy girls in and out of the apartment every night/morning
- having no access to common space because of constant habitation of living room of roommate and girlfriend
- competing for the bathroom in the morning with roommate girlfriend / often losing the race and running late in the morning as a result
- having all of our toilet paper used for god knows what by OCD roommate
- no one ever buying toilet paper when it's clearly anyone's but my turn
- worrying that asthma cat will die
- cat vomit on my rug and the smell never ever coming out
- having all my beers stolen out of the fridge or my energy drink stolen off the table
- having every single dish, utensil, pan in the kitchen used to cook one extravagant meal and left in a pile in the sink for over a week
- clogging the kitchen sink with food even though it's a fucking sink and not a garbage disposal, continuing to use the sink until everything in it is standing in a pool of stagnant water
- dead mice everywhere
- apartment that smells like weed, incense, never-cleaned litter box, and dead mice
- being propositioned via text in the middle of the night for over an hour to the point of turning my phone on silent and locking my door because a roommate is "joking" about coming into my room / waking up to 15 more texts
- getting texts about how we "all need to be cleaner" from the person who makes the apartment a stinking garbage heap / aggressive text responses when i point out how much cleaning i do
- being sent a passive/aggressive/more aggressive e-mail for being in the kitchen drinking wine for 45 minutes while a roommate's DATE was happening
- room so small that i knock something over every time i turn around
- internet so bad that i can't watch anything without pre-loading it for 20 minutes
- fridge completely full of rotting food belonging to one person
- same person cleaning out the fridge randomly and throwing out all my food without asking
- living with someone who won't get out of bed to open the door for me when i'm locked out, even if it means i have to stay overnight at someone else's house because i can't get in
- having to let a roommate stay in my room while i'm in town so he can put up his parents in his room / not giving me more than a day's notice on this request
- living with someone who neglects to feed his animals, so that i end up having to do it because i can see they haven't eaten in two days
- living with males who prowl on my friends and blatantly look them up and down
- being the only one who ever cleans the bathroom counter, sink, toilet, or shower
- entertaining stupid conversations with blacked out drunks
- being pressured to not cook in the kitchen because it's summer and i'm going to make the apartment hot
FUCK YOU.
Next.
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