i was being responsible when i left a birthday party tonight at 2am. however, i fell asleep on the metro (i actually decided this morning that i may legitimately be a narcoleptic) and woke up to a bunch of guidos shouting, "wakey, wakey!" thank goodness for those creepy guidos because i didn't even recognize the stop we were at and realized i was very far from home. i jumped out of the subway just in time to see the train that could take me back departing from the other side of the platform. i ran out of the subway, intending to find a cab. outside, i realized that i was in a ghost town. avenue N, practically to coney island and 12 stops from home. i tried to run back into the subway but my metro card was locked out from recent use. the man manning the subway booth said, "now, i know you just left here, so imma let you back in. my question is, do you know where you're going?" i said, "Carroll Gardens!" i ran back up to the platform and sat for the quietest fifteen minutes of my life. the only sound was quite literally a whistling wind and the entire platform would sway strongly side to side as the wrong trains went by. eventually the F came back and i jumped on, forcing myself to stay awake while everyone else in the car slept. when i finally arrived at my stop again, i walked out to scary and violent fights erupting in the streets. nypd was everywhere in our quiet neighborhood. i hurried by but men grabbed at my arms and called me china and muñeca. this is why we don't stay out past 2am in los angeles. now i am very happy to be back on my air bed, eating mac n cheese, albeit two hours delayed.
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